“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
How many times did we hear that line as a child, wondering if it were actually true? Ironically, it’s words that tend to hurt us more deeply than anything else. The emotional effects of wrath and anger can be just as devastating, if not more, than any physical harm done.
“You will never amount to anything.”
“I don’t owe you anything.”
“What’s wrong with you?
What is your problem?”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I don’t care what you think.”
All of us have likely been on the receiving end of one of these at some point in our lives. People speak them out of anger in the moment, allowing their anger to get the best of them. Without fully intending it, our anger can seriously wound others. In the case of a parent/child relationship, these wounds can oftentimes last for a lifetime.
Unfiltered and unchecked anger can lead to the deadly sin known as wrath, which can be incredibly damaging to other souls as well as our own.
When we examine the times in our lives when we have been angry, a pattern typically arises. It may be certain people, situations or topics that drive us into anger. Discovering what those triggers are can be extremely beneficial so that we stand better prepared the next time they occur. The next time you find yourself getting worked up and upset, pause for a moment, take a deep breath and consider a quick prayer, “Come Holy Spirit. Let my thoughts and words be life-giving and pleasing to you.”
Sometimes the people who tend to make us angry are the ones we find it difficult to see God in. Pray for the grace to see in them the Hidden Face of Christ. Imagine the amount of internal suffering they must be going through, the suffering Christ inside of them. As Plato once said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
As Christians, we are to bring Christ with us into this broken world. St. Mother Teresa used to say, “Charity kills conflict.” Let’s start with those closest to us to build up our spiritual muscles – our family, our friends and our co-workers. Don’t let a day go by without speaking words of life-giving love into their day. Build them up rather than tearing them down. Find the good in them; find God in them. And let them know that you have noticed it.
• Pray for the grace to see the Hidden Face of Christ in those who you tend to get angry with. Pray for them and forgive them.
• Give a heartfelt compliment to your spouse and children every day.
• Give a heartfelt compliment to your boss, co-workers and employees every day.